My husband left for his out-of-town job at 7am this morning, and he took my box of spring lettuce.
It's left over from last week, but it's still crisp, so I didn't buy any fresh lettuce. You know, like we did for him Sunday night at the grocery story.
And I'm not sure, but I feel like the thermostat is set at 62 F, Again. I've been freezing my butt off for about 12 hours. I forgot to check it last time I was in the kitchen. Before that, I was sleeping about 16 hours, not including waking up at 2pm to make some business calls and return some emails.
No depression here. Nope. No depression. Uh-huh.
Monday, March 26, 2012
I Still Can't Believe It
I'm not sure how my husband got to be in his mid-forties and not know the following things:
* What a ladle is
* What a spaghetti grabber is
* The difference between a Kotex and a Tampon (granted, lot's of men don't know this, but still)
* Unplugging various devices (cell phone, crock pot), that are difficult for someone in a wheelchair to plug in so that he might save 10 cents on the electric bill
* Throwing things to someone who is disabled is probably not the best way to give them something, especially if that something is three pairs of underwear that all went different directions
* Handing things to me when my hands are already full and I'm trying to get around using a rolling desk chair
Honest-to-god, having him around is like having a toddler. We're both so relieved when the weekend ends and he goes back to work.
* What a ladle is
* What a spaghetti grabber is
* The difference between a Kotex and a Tampon (granted, lot's of men don't know this, but still)
* Unplugging various devices (cell phone, crock pot), that are difficult for someone in a wheelchair to plug in so that he might save 10 cents on the electric bill
* Throwing things to someone who is disabled is probably not the best way to give them something, especially if that something is three pairs of underwear that all went different directions
* Handing things to me when my hands are already full and I'm trying to get around using a rolling desk chair
Honest-to-god, having him around is like having a toddler. We're both so relieved when the weekend ends and he goes back to work.
Saturday, March 17, 2012
Conversation
My husband and I had a substantive conversation about the state of our marriage tonight. He offered to not come home on the weekends. He'd continue to help financially, but he would stay at his place out of town on the weekends near where he works.
That gave me pause. Part of me was delighted, the injured and healing part of me was not so happy. Other than the nurses who are in and out of here all week, I don't see anyone. I don't have a lot of close friends here--purposely--and a few of the people I'd love to come visit, can't afford it, don't have time, or aren't interested in being where the snow is. So on Friday, I need the husb to handle bizness here--laundry, grocery shopping, mail if it hasn't been gotten by one of the nurses.
So we're at a crossroads. I asked him, "How hard are you willing to work to keep this marriage? I don't feel like you're here even when you're here. I don't feel cared for or about."
It made me very sad. I was reviewing some of my old emails from him, and we were so giddy with our new love, so excited and so happy for the future, and so in love. It's almost dead. Ruined. That makes me sad.
I'm wondering if, after I am up and around, we should try a trial separation.
And here I thought I was hiding my feelings so well.
That gave me pause. Part of me was delighted, the injured and healing part of me was not so happy. Other than the nurses who are in and out of here all week, I don't see anyone. I don't have a lot of close friends here--purposely--and a few of the people I'd love to come visit, can't afford it, don't have time, or aren't interested in being where the snow is. So on Friday, I need the husb to handle bizness here--laundry, grocery shopping, mail if it hasn't been gotten by one of the nurses.
So we're at a crossroads. I asked him, "How hard are you willing to work to keep this marriage? I don't feel like you're here even when you're here. I don't feel cared for or about."
It made me very sad. I was reviewing some of my old emails from him, and we were so giddy with our new love, so excited and so happy for the future, and so in love. It's almost dead. Ruined. That makes me sad.
I'm wondering if, after I am up and around, we should try a trial separation.
And here I thought I was hiding my feelings so well.
Friday, March 16, 2012
Recovering
I have a cast on, so I can't get into a tub or shower. I've been doing what my mom always called "bird baths"; wash in the sink with a washcloth. But last Saturday, I had a great idea, and here's the text of an email from the fallout of that great idea to a friend--something my Lurch of a husband did:
When I took my patio shower yesterday, we needed to turn on the cold water so I wouldn’t boil myself to death on the hot water only coming from the spigot. I told him to turn it on, but put one of those “big blue bowls (Tupperware HUGE bowl), in the lower left cupboard, under it, to catch the water while I’m showering. And don’t forget to turn it off.
So I shower, get toweled off and into a clean nightie, and I say, “Don’t forget to turn the cold water off.”
Lurch says, “Yeah, uh-huh. Ok.” And lumbers off.
Today, I’m teaching him how to grill chicken and make some rice from my rolling desk chair I'm sitting in in our dinky kitchen, and so I had him load up the dishwasher. Since it was full, I said, “Let’s run it while it’s full.” I open the cupboard door to get a gel soap pack, you know, the one he just bought 48 hours ago? from the bucket underneath the counter. Only it’s under the cold water knob and full of water. With everything still inside of it. One new pack of dishwasher gel packs melted into oblivion, wet nitrile gloves, glue, sponges, etc.
I’m telling you, the man does not live in this world.
Glad I didn’t pay for the gel packs; I’d be pissed. LOL
Friday, March 2, 2012
Accident
I had an accident last week, and I hurt myself rather badly. A relative flew out from another state to look after me for what they said would be two weeks.
When they arrived, they decided they would be leaving on Monday instead.
On Wednesday, they decided they would leave on Friday.
They left. My idiot husband drove them to a hotel where they want to spend the night "alone" and try to change their flight to tomorrow. And where they want to fly to is being hit hard by tornadoes right now. I don't know how they think they're going to land at their airport of choice with massive high winds, thunderstorms, and tornadoes going on.
I can't walk--the crutches are difficult for me, I get dizzy and tend to tip over; I don't have enough strength in my arms to lift myself up out of a chair or off the floor. Last night my husband was helping me off the toilet, and he dropped me. I had to crawl on my hands and knees back into the living where there's a big chair I could pull myself up into. And I still needed help. I pee in a big plastic bowl. I can't get home health care for love or money. On Monday, I will be on my own. I haven't showered since the 28th although I've had sitz baths; I haven't washed my hair since the 28th. I'm yucky.
So my husband came home and the first thing he did was ask me for money. I already gave him $400- and where he should allocate the money. He already spent it. He even wants me to repay him for some Chinese food he picked up for us on Monday night. Who does that? And he wants more? And was angry that I wrote my relative a check for part of their airfare to come out here? I can't take this, I just can't. I'm thinking of asking him to move out. Now. This weekend.
I can't survive on my own financially, but I can't survive living this way regardless.
I feel abandoned, alone, and very, very, very, very angry.
When they arrived, they decided they would be leaving on Monday instead.
On Wednesday, they decided they would leave on Friday.
They left. My idiot husband drove them to a hotel where they want to spend the night "alone" and try to change their flight to tomorrow. And where they want to fly to is being hit hard by tornadoes right now. I don't know how they think they're going to land at their airport of choice with massive high winds, thunderstorms, and tornadoes going on.
I can't walk--the crutches are difficult for me, I get dizzy and tend to tip over; I don't have enough strength in my arms to lift myself up out of a chair or off the floor. Last night my husband was helping me off the toilet, and he dropped me. I had to crawl on my hands and knees back into the living where there's a big chair I could pull myself up into. And I still needed help. I pee in a big plastic bowl. I can't get home health care for love or money. On Monday, I will be on my own. I haven't showered since the 28th although I've had sitz baths; I haven't washed my hair since the 28th. I'm yucky.
So my husband came home and the first thing he did was ask me for money. I already gave him $400- and where he should allocate the money. He already spent it. He even wants me to repay him for some Chinese food he picked up for us on Monday night. Who does that? And he wants more? And was angry that I wrote my relative a check for part of their airfare to come out here? I can't take this, I just can't. I'm thinking of asking him to move out. Now. This weekend.
I can't survive on my own financially, but I can't survive living this way regardless.
I feel abandoned, alone, and very, very, very, very angry.
Monday, February 20, 2012
I Married an Idiot
Honest-to-G*d.
He had today off, even though I didn't, and we ran some errands. He is not a good driver because he doesn't pay attention. We almost rear ended someone today because he was running his mouth instead of watching where he was going.
He missed driveways, parked me so close to an evergreen bush I could barely get out of the car; pulled the car out and then sat there, blocking traffic, as he waited for me to get to the car instead of driving toward me (I had mailed a letter); we bought groceries. When we got home, he handed me 3 bags of groceries and said "that's it."
"Really?" I said. "Where's the milk? Where are the Kotex?"
"I'll go check the car."
"OK" says I. I walk into the kitchen and there, on the stovetop (and we've had many, many conversations about not putting stuff on the glass stovetop [because you can't tell if it's hot or not.]), is the milk, the Kotex, and four bags of groceries. Also, a plastic bag holding a container of anti-freeze (that needs to stay in the car). He comes back in angry because he went out to the car for no reason.
"All you had to do was tell me you brought groceries in and put them on the stove. I thought the three bags you handed me were your first trip from the Car."
"I don't know what I brought in." And so on. And then an argument ensued about not putting items on the stove. More later.
He had today off, even though I didn't, and we ran some errands. He is not a good driver because he doesn't pay attention. We almost rear ended someone today because he was running his mouth instead of watching where he was going.
He missed driveways, parked me so close to an evergreen bush I could barely get out of the car; pulled the car out and then sat there, blocking traffic, as he waited for me to get to the car instead of driving toward me (I had mailed a letter); we bought groceries. When we got home, he handed me 3 bags of groceries and said "that's it."
"Really?" I said. "Where's the milk? Where are the Kotex?"
"I'll go check the car."
"OK" says I. I walk into the kitchen and there, on the stovetop (and we've had many, many conversations about not putting stuff on the glass stovetop [because you can't tell if it's hot or not.]), is the milk, the Kotex, and four bags of groceries. Also, a plastic bag holding a container of anti-freeze (that needs to stay in the car). He comes back in angry because he went out to the car for no reason.
"All you had to do was tell me you brought groceries in and put them on the stove. I thought the three bags you handed me were your first trip from the Car."
"I don't know what I brought in." And so on. And then an argument ensued about not putting items on the stove. More later.
Friday, February 17, 2012
Did I miss something?
My husband and I like Coke Zero. OK, we LOVE Coke Zero. A lot.
I limit myself to two per day. I could drink more, but two...a day.
It wasn't on sale when we went to the grocery store on Sunday like normal, so we bought a twenty-pack and decided we would split it Usually a 12-pack is $3.48; they went up to $4.99, while a 20-pack was $7.50. He brought it into the house (heavy), I took out ten cans, put six in the cupboard, and put four in the refrigerator. He took his ten out to the van.
Monday morning, all four cold cans were gone from the refrigerator.
He probably drank two and took two for the road. So that means he got fourteen Cokes, and I got six.
*rolleyes*
I limit myself to two per day. I could drink more, but two...a day.
It wasn't on sale when we went to the grocery store on Sunday like normal, so we bought a twenty-pack and decided we would split it Usually a 12-pack is $3.48; they went up to $4.99, while a 20-pack was $7.50. He brought it into the house (heavy), I took out ten cans, put six in the cupboard, and put four in the refrigerator. He took his ten out to the van.
Monday morning, all four cold cans were gone from the refrigerator.
He probably drank two and took two for the road. So that means he got fourteen Cokes, and I got six.
*rolleyes*
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