Weekend Arguing

My husband spent the weekend ranting and raving about money, and essentially made me feel like an albatross around his neck. That made me very angry. It was just non-stop bellyaching about all the bills--did I bitch like this when I was working and he wasn't? No, no I did not. I have a job, technically, but payment is a little slow in coming because I'm freelancing. And he's pissed he's stuck with all the bills--even though, evidently, we overspent this month by taking a short trip to visit his parents in California. The trip was his idea.

Why do I expect a college graduate to keep track of his finances? I keep forgetting that "this" guy, doesn't operate like regular people.

Sunday morning he got up and hollered from the bathroom, "why don't you brush your teeth?" Code for "Let's have sex."
I hollered back, "Why?"
There was no comment after that.
He got back in bed, curled up next to me and said, "If the answer is no, just tell me no."
And I thought about it and then I said, from my heart, "It's very hard for me to find fondness for you in my heart when you make me feel like this huge burden around your neck."

And then he starting in with the whining and complaining again.

Really, really, really tired of that.

Then he rolled over the other way, and I could hear him crying. It's a horrible thing to hear a grown man cry and think you're the cause of it, even though it's his behavior that is coming back to slap him in the face. He cannot make the connection between his behavior and my reaction to it.

This guy can't even go to the grocery store on his own. He follows me around like a dog. I quit sending him on errands to pick up stuff because he can never find it. I walk over and there it is--he doesn't look or see or something. So he follows behind me like a toddler while I shop. Then we come home and I cook him five lunches and four dinners for his job out of town. He can't cook, and there is nowhere for him to eat where he works, so we've got this down to a science. But I resent it. He treats me like I'm some money-sucking pain in the ass, and yet he can't really function without me.

It's just a dysfunctional relationship all the way around. I hate it.